Refinery

I had this blog entry all planned out in my head. It was going to be called "The Verdict", explaining where and when I will be/If I will be moving to another city in the near future. Here's the thing, I don't know. I have a hunch, and its a really good one, but anything could change at any moment.

What I have realized though in my life recently is the ways in which I have been refined and broken down, only to be made stronger, more thought-full and more in need of grace today, over yesterday. While I was driving home from work today, I thought back to a question that was asked to me on Thursday night at small group. "So Erica, when was it that you became a christian, or better yet, when did you begin to own your faith?" In my drive home today, I remembered my answer vividly. I said "In college. I began to own my faith my junior year of college. A lot of things changed for me that year, and I actually came to know the Lord." It seemed like a good answer--and what I had said it was true--but today (on my drive) I started to break down the makeup of the year 2009. It was "my junior year" that changed me, but as I drove with the sun shining down on me I thought, "well, what was it though?" and then I remembered.

My life turned upside-down six months after I turned twenty. I won't get too deep into the logistics, but every single thing changed for me. My family was no longer a "unit" if you will. I started a job on campus in the dorms and I had no idea what it meant to be a friend. It was as if I was having an out-of-body experience, but it changed me. Rocked me. Molded me. In the best way possible. It was that year that I began to actually desire the Lord because he really was all that I had. I had wonderful friends who pushed me to be vulnerable and transparent with them. They did not want a show. All they wanted to was to walk alongside me and be a true friend. In that year, I found Jesus. I firmly believe it was the hardest and best year of my life all rolled into one. In the midst of life being difficult and not so black and white, I truly began to fall in love with Jesus.

Flash forward almost three years and I am still being "refined". I would never have--nor would I now--understand how deep and how wide and how long the Father's love for us. With each new and courageous experience, I see him more. Last week, I had the wonderful opportunity to pray over a city. The city of Boston. Boston is everything you think it would be. To sum it up in once sentence. You feel as if you travelled back in time and gone europe all in one shot. It. Is. Magical. The epitome of Whimsy. It is everything lovely.

But Boston is broken just like we all are. It is in need of a savior daily, just like we are. But here is what I learned (amongst about 10 other things on my trip) is that with each challenge, with each brave act, the Lord is drawing us closer and closer to him. Whether it be praying over a city and resting in his grace and peace to bring Revival, or going through a devastating circumstance, each and every heartache carries the seed of a greater benefit.

So as long winded as that was, I am thankful for refinery. Thankful for the pain it causes and the wounds it leaves behind. Thankful for the tears and fear. Thankful for it all in the way of better understanding Christ.

Two Hundred Fifty Nine or 8 plus 15.

This one'll be short. Im too excited to sit and write a long post, so bear with me :)

Two hundred and fifty nine days ago was my last Sunday in Los Angeles. My sister was still on her honeymoon, and I decided to go to church one last time before I left for Denver the following Tuesday (Aug 23rd). As I sat in church, mourning the loss of a church in my life that had been so pivotal in my relationship with the Lord, I was excited for what Denver would hold. I had made the finite decision, and there was no erasing it. After the worship had ended and before the sermon had begun, an important announcement was to be made. The church was going to announce their newest church plant.

Boston. 

Great, here I am moving to Denver, and they announce Reality Boston. Boston has been my dream since I was seven years old. A few years passed and then I was looking into college in New England. Boston was on my radar again. I chickened out because it seemed so far from everyone and everything in California. A few more years passed and then my senior year of college came around, and it was there again. I was determined to get to Boston one way or another. I decided and felt Denver was where I was supposed to be. 

In fifty seven hours, I will be on a plane headed for Boston. The place I have drempt of living for my whole life. I fell as if my life is coming to a standstill, a crossroads if you will. I have built up this place for so long in my head. I will finally be there. I can count the days. I can count the hours. I can count the minutes. Its here and I am not sure what to think. 

All I know is eight months and fifteen days ago, I heard a big announcement at a church I love and May 9th 2012 seemed like an eternity. And its here. Wow.