today i packed everything i have here at the apartment. it was a horrible mess..well it still is a mess, but at least i made some headway, i think :-) yesterday when i was driving to work (for the last time in santa monica!!!) one of my favorite songs came on the radio. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmrOB_q3tjo&ob=av2n . the video is super cheesy, but the song is so great. i belted as i was parking the car last night, and today on my run i decided to sprint when it came on my pandora. the words are so good and true. i probably shouldn't be getting so excited when a song comes on the radio, but i just love the words. and they're perfect for my transition right now.
i have not been nervous once since i decided to move over to the mountain-y CO! but on sunday i started to get very nervous. driving to work last night, the nervousness set it again...but since im a sucker for the lyrics to songs, whenever this one comes on..i feel the need to sing because it comforts me in a weird way. .." you gotta keep your head up, ohhh and you can let your hair down.." ok, well my hair isn't long enough to blow in the wind..YET, but i like his positivity for life. i can learn something from you, mr. andy.
like i said earlier, on sunday it all set in that im moving 1000 miles away in a week (ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!) i think it was sitting in church with a dear friend, soaking up the wonderful community and message i was receiving that made me all choked up. i love the place where i go to church and i love my friends in LA. i thought more than i should have listened during that sermon, i need to work on that. thinking too much is a major pitfall of mine. when church ended, i headed off to work for a shift that ended at 9:30 at night, yay retail! as i was writing down duties for the next day in the little red book we have, there was a quote at the top of the page.
"stuff your eyes with wonder...live as if you'd drop dead in 10 seconds. see the world. its more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories." -ray bradbury.
yet again, something to remind me that what i am doing is good. out of the box. adventurous. it felt a bit of serendipitous in that moment. in my three months of working there, i have never written in that red book, let alone read the quote at the top of the page...and the one time i did, it was that great quote. i like the idea that i am "stuffing my eyes with wonder" and seeing the world outside of LA.
songs and quotes are great, but until you have someone who is constantly nudging you along with encouragent and support...the lyrics only go so far. as i was waiting at the bus stop (yes i take the bus. parking at work is $9/day, and the bus is $1/each way...im going green!) i began to realized why i am so nervous. never in my life have i made a huge transition without my sister, "fred" there. when i moved away to college, she was there...a dorm away. when i moved to LA at the beginning of the summer and knew no one, at least i had my sister. now, i am moving to denver and she will not be there at all. i can't go explore the city with her, or ask her to drive me by my new job so i can know which bus route to take. for the first time, i am really doing this by myself. i wish i could pack her up and take her in my overweight suitcase, just to make it more bearable, but i can't. she has taught me many things though, and one of them is peace. i can just pretend she is there, giving me a sense of calm in this crazy transition :)
No comments:
Post a Comment